Children need time to 'Just Be'. To play and ponder. To wonder and wander.

Embracing quiet time is important and something we should be encouraging in children, it clears the mind and nourishes the soul. In many cultures of the world meditation is part of life, quiet reflection time is ingrained within the children as part of cultural importance, religious belief and habitual living. In our modern western world it can be - different. 

As a child, today too much busy activity, plans and structured events; the need to race from one activity within the day to the next can be exhausting. I know it was exhausting for me and created what I now know as an adult in reflection, as anxiety. A tightness in the intuitive centre, panicked thoughts and a feeling that I had to ‘be on’, ‘be polite’, ‘make an effort with people and smile, smile, smile’ when what I really wanted to do was lie down and rest.

Most weekends my family and I would pack up our dogs and drive up to my grandparent’s farm. What I remember fondly, now, is that my greatest joy beyond seeing my much-loved grandparents were the hours I spent on my own lost in the fields, resting in the paddocks connecting with the land, the trees and the animals. 

My sister and I would wander off into the paddocks and she’d go one way and I the other- it seems we were both in search of space. Quiet uninterrupted space. This opportunity to sit and just be, to observe or to aimlessly wander is so good for the soul. Sometimes I’d see my sister riding her bike through the lower paddocks exploring all the speeds and riding styles, the wind in her hair, a giant smile on her face and an energy of freedom all around her. So refreshing as she was also a brilliant academic, who dedicated hours and hours to study, analysis and precision. No wonder she was always the first one to take off down the back at lightning bolt speed, closely followed by the dogs at her heels. 

I would do the same run from paddock to paddock, sing, laugh and dance, free of judgement, ridicule or shame. I’d love to just sit and observe the light shining on the dam, listen to the sounds of the trees, grasses and insects nearby. There was a desire to sit, listen and think of ‘nothing’ in particular. Little did I know I was practising a form of meditation at the time.  

How do the young people you know spend their free time? Do they have any? As a teacher, I have spoken to many youth about their schedules, especially when they were struggling at school or mentally and emotionally.  Children who felt pushed to study for long hours into their evening, travel long distances to and from school, have hours of homework, need to babysit their younger siblings, have training, rehearsals, work... leaving no time in their day or worse their week for chilling out (or quality time with their parents but that is another article).

We all have responsibilities, passions and hobbies that we long to pursue; yet there needs to be a balance. Free time to just wonder, imagine, play, observe, be still - without expectation. A restless mind over cycles before it stops working, gets foggy, freezing up and shutting down. An over stimulated mind cycles round and round but cannot shut down. Without being cliché - a large number of young people are so caught up in busy mode that on the occasion they are blessed with free time they choose to fill it with more stimulation, such as screen time, computer games, scrolling, surfing, snap chatting. No wonder when bedtime finally arrives they find their brain like a laptop that just won’t shut down. 

Children just like adults need to be still, to sit, ponder, wander and wonder. A mind at rest is creative, positive, confident and clear.  If our children do not have this time to explore their internal world they will soon be adults in search of themselves- wondering who they really are. It is in the quiet moments that one has time to hear their inner voice. Discovering who they are. Uncovering what they love. Maybe considering what they have to share with the world!

Interested to explore some of these ideas further -

Harvard on play for social, emotional and intellectual development -

https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/18/06/summertime-playtime

A little guidance on how to encourage wonder in your child’s day and play -

https://www.playfullearning.net/resource/nurturing-a-sense-of-wonder/

A little info on why children need to be outdoors in nature -

https://childmind.org/article/why-kids-need-to-spend-time-in-nature/